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| Being an American |
| 05.06.04 (4:12 am) [edit] |
Reading the news this morning off the BBC world news edition, which is how I start every morning, I feel completely ill. Completely versus partially, which is how I've felt the last mornings, reading of the American (and British & who knows who will be pinned next?) abuse of Iraqi prisoners. This feeling started when it was announced that Hussein was a target for assassination. I wondered when the laws had changed that Americans now were free to murder *enemies* with support and encouragement from our government. Didn't that used to be the secret stuff of the CIA and spy novels? Something had radically changed in the way we were going about war, and this present, now made public, abuse is simply a follow up of a logical progression in barbaric methods.
And this is my country that is being named. Living out of the mainland US, it is often easy to ignore current world events. I doubt the news that is shattering headlines around the world will show up on page one of our paper here, which isn't even our paper, that comes out once a month and has nothing outside of local events and personality profiles. But sometimes the fact of being an American is unavoidable and I feel a shame as if I personally had something to do with what is happening, guilt by association as it were, despite the fact that I know hundreds and thousands of US military are not involved in such behaviour.
Today's headlines make so much in my world petty and ridiculous in comparison. It may be a feeling that passes, but truthfully, it doesn't ever go away, it just simmers under my daily life, waiting for this event or another to erupt, reminding me of the fact that I can leave America, but it never leaves me. Oh for some news that would make me want to wave the red white and blue in pride.
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